I Spent 13 Years Surviving. Now I’m Finally Living.

At QueenBee, we share the stories of women whose lives have taken unexpected turns. For local nurse and wellbeing specialist Danielle Black, 43, a photograph with her son became a turning point after 13 years of unexplained swelling, frightening hospital visits and a life controlled by illness. Here, she shares her journey towards reclaiming her confidence, taking a more active role in her wellbeing and finding herself again, in her own words.

Danielle’s story

There was a photograph of me with my son that stopped me in my tracks. I barely recognised the woman looking back. It wasn’t just my appearance. After more than 13 years of health problems, I felt I had lost the person I used to be. I was exhausted, frightened and frustrated.

I had attended countless appointments and taken so much medication, yet still didn’t know why I was so unwell.

My symptoms began after the birth of my third child.

Almost every month, I experienced swelling, sometimes changing my face dramatically, sometimes affecting other parts of my body. I noticed a possible connection with my menstrual cycle, but there was no clear explanation.

I attended allergy, gynaecology and neurology clinics, particularly because of severe headaches and migraines. Steroids and antihistamines helped me manage episodes, but on three occasions my condition became life-threatening and I needed emergency care.

I carried on working and caring for my family, but my world was getting smaller. I had loved netball, horse riding and spontaneous plans. Now I was always wondering whether I would be well enough to go anywhere. Medication also contributed to rapid weight gain, and I struggled to look in the mirror. It wasn’t simply about appearance. I was grieving the life I used to have. I became very good at functioning while feeling terrible.

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The turning point

When I saw that photograph, I thought, “Where have I gone?”

I wanted my confidence, energy and freedom back. I missed being active, making spontaneous plans and simply enjoying everyday life without constantly worrying about my health.

After so many years of appointments, medication and uncertainty, I wanted to feel more involved in my own wellbeing.

As a nurse, I’ve always been interested in understanding the body and the different factors that can influence how we feel. I began looking more closely at my everyday habits, including nutrition, sleep, stress and lifestyle, while continuing to seek appropriate medical advice.

It wasn’t about finding a quick fix or one simple answer. It was about taking the time to understand my own needs, asking questions and making decisions that felt right for me.

Perhaps most importantly, I began thinking about what I wanted my life to look like again, rather than allowing my health struggles to define everything.

Finding myself again

Looking back, the changes in my life have been gradual. There have been challenges along the way, but I’ve worked towards rebuilding my confidence and making room for the things that matter to me.

I’ve returned to netball, become more active and started enjoying family time and making plans again.

After so many years of feeling restricted by my health, these everyday experiences mean more to me than I can explain.

I also feel differently about myself. For a long time, I struggled to recognise the person I saw in the mirror. Now I’m learning to appreciate everything I’ve been through, rather than focusing only on how those experiences changed me.

I’ve come to realise how much I’d missed simply being present, enjoying time with my family and looking forward to the future.

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Why I’m sharing my story

At 43, I look at those old photographs with emotion, but I also see how far I’ve come.

I know what it feels like to spend years searching for answers, to feel frustrated by your own body and to wonder whether you’ll ever feel like yourself again.

That’s why I wanted to share my experience. Not because I have all the answers, or because everyone’s journey will be the same, but because I know how isolating long-term health problems can feel.

If you’re struggling with your own health, I hope my story encourages you to keep asking questions, seek the support you need and remember that your wellbeing matters.

For me, it’s also reinforced the importance of looking at health as a whole, recognising the connections between physical wellbeing, emotional health and the way we live our lives.

I began making changes at 39. Today I’m making plans, enjoying my family and doing things I thought I’d lost.

Best of all, I recognise myself again.

I’m not just surviving anymore. I’m living.

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